I’m a fairly ordinary husband, dad, graphic designer, photographer, bike riding, beer drinking 34 year old. I also happen to be bisexual. Whilst being bi does not define me, it is important to me and every time I voice it out loud, I get a sense of relief – as if I am being my true self.
After a decade of hiding my identity outside of our monogamous marriage, my wife and I had grown tired of the misconceptions of me being a bi man in a straight-appearing relationship. We hid my identity for years in fear of the invasive and biphobic questions we would be asked.
Thankfully, the pandemic got us thinking that this wasn’t right and the more I researched, the more I realised this was a conversation that needed to be had. As a professional photographer, the obvious medium was to document other bi+ people in straight-appearing relationships to show the world that we do exist, and that it is perfectly normal(sic).
This photographic documentary is intended to be a lifelong passion project that will naturally take meanders along the way. There is no definitive end to the project with the hope that as queer identities in straight-appearing relationships become less stigmatized, the project will turn into a celebration of the diverse identities we all share.
A common theme that comes up with every couple that I photograph is that
those who identify as the woman in the relationship feel hyper-sexualized by their bisexuality, whereas those who identify as the man in the relationship feel unable to be naturally themselves for fear of biphobic (often internalized) discrimination.
This is a drive for the project. I want to normalize our identities as one more element of the rich fabric of all relationships and encourage conversations outside of the queer community.
It goes without saying that Dr Julia Shaw has made bisexual identities incredibly visible with her most recent book, Bi. It positions the identity in a way that is easy for those who do not identify as bi+ to appreciate the complexities and depth of the bisexual world – informing the reader that it is about so much more than sex. This was just one of many books that I have read (and continue to) on bisexual culture but her persuasion to be more me definitely deserves recognition as inspiration.
Barbara Peacock’s American Bedroom is also a strong source of inspiration for the project. Her portraits of people in their bedroom are incredibly intimate and exposing but I admire her drive to document the rich diversities as an art-form. Her subtitle for the project is ‘reflections on the nature of life’ and the notion that identity and life are intrinsically linked draws parallels to this project.