Affinity: a natural liking, or attraction, to a person
Affinity is a documentary photography project that hopes to illustrate that bisexuality can, and does exist, in straight-appearing relationships.
J & A were the first couple I met, and J made a point of expressing their reservations about being in front of the camera, which is interesting because they are also one of the most confidently articulate people I’ve photographed. Both J & A quietly carve out their own example of being a mixed orientation couple in a very warm and loving way.
I want others who identify as Bi to feel comfortable to be themselves"
I met K & C for a casual lunch before photographing them in this space. What struck me was K’s amazing confidence in their approach to their bisexual identity, without adhering to any stereotypes. We met just a few months before K & C were to get married and K was using the Affinity project as a mechanism for expressing their bisexual identity to their wider family.
It’s fitting that I met the first couple who both identify as bi in London which has a perception of being more diverse and welcoming. To a degree, M & C echoed this and comment that they are out with many of their friends. I found it refreshing how comfortable both M & C are with each other, and they expressed how liberating it was to make the invisible, visible.
Making the invisible visible is liberating"
J & L were the first couple I met in Nottingham (which seems to be an unofficial epicentre for bisexual identities in the UK). L recalled a story of an elderly family friend disclosing their uncertainty with their gender identity in tears once they realised it was safe to talk candidly; expressing how they had felt unsure if their body matched their gender. It is very easy for younger generations to judge older generations for their misunderstandings about queer identities, however we must remember that projects like Affinity are for all ages.
Since meeting for this photograph, N has confided that they occasionally wonder if they are bisexual enough for the label. If there was anything to validate this project, then this is it. Our queer identities do not need to neatly fit into any predefined boxes. Conversely, A & N share very liberal views about the wider world and both are wonderfully easy-going.
This was my second visit for Nottingham where I met A & D, who also both identify as bi, but also run the local bi network in Nottingham and organised BiCon. A made the remark that ‘straight-assuming’ couples is a more accurate definition of mixed gender couples who identify as queer, because the on-looker is assuming we’re all straight.
I prefer straight-assuming because onlookers are wrong to assume we're straight"
If there was ever a power couple with the capacity to make waves in breaking assumptions and stereotypes surrounding queer relationships, then L & T are the one. The have spoken openly about the dynamics of their relationship, and how it has evolved into the monogamous straight-appearing one we see here. Both being clinical psychologists means they articulate themselves eloquently.